Goodbye to you
by EndlessFighter
Summary: Sequel to Hold me close. This story starts 3 years after the end of hold me close. Something really bad happens when Lorelai visits the playground with Leyla, Linnea and Leo. R&R. This is a really sad and angsty story. but remember EVERYTHING ENDS GOOD.
1. Chapter 1

**Here it is... the sequel to Hold me close. If you havn't read hold me close before I suggest you read that first.**

**To everyone who has read hold me close: you all will hate me for this story. But whatever will happen in this story, please don't stop reading. Just remember: EVERYTHING WILL BE GOOD IN THE END!!!**

**But just to be a nice person, the first two chapters are happy ones ;) so enjoy reading.**

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**Goodbye to you**

**Chapter 1**

**3 years after the end of Hold me close**

There were two little girls sitting at the counter of Luke's Diner eating their Pancakes.

The first one had shoulder long, really curly black hair and blue eyes. The other one had a bit longer dark brown hair which weren't as curly as her sisters but her eyes were much bluer. Both were totally busy with their pancakes.

"Daddy?" The girls with the black curls looked at the man behind the counter.

"Yes Leyla?" The man answered and turned around to his daughter.

"Where is Mommy?" she asked.

"She is picking up your brother from his baseball training, you know that." Leyla seemed to be okay with this answer to he turned back around to the coffee maker.

"Daddy?" She asked again after a few moments. This time Luke just turned around and looked at her.

"When does Mommy come back?"

"She should be back any minute, sweety." Hoping that every question was answered now Luke got back to his work again.

"Daddy?" Luke rolled his eyes. He really, really loved his kids but sometimes they really annoyed him. Especially Leyla. She was too much like Lorelai.

"Yes Leyla?"

"Can I have coffee?" the little girl asked and her eyes started to shine. When the other girl heard her sister's question she also looked up from her pancakes.

"Forget it. You two are not going to be as coffee addicted as your mom and elder sister."

With these words he turned around again, knowing that both would start pouting know and look at him with their puppy eyes. He still wouldn't give them coffee because of that but he probably would allow them something else. Luke was so deep in thoughts that he didn't hear the bells over the diner door ring.

"Daddy!" This time it wasn't Leyla who talked to him. He turned around and saw how a little black haired boy ran over to him.

"Hey big boy." He said to the boy and picked him up. „How was your day?"

"We won a game, Daddy." He told his dad totally proud. While they both talked a little and Leo told his dad how he did an important move for his team to win the game the bells over the door ringed again and Lorelai entered the Diner.

"Mommy!" Both girls yelled at the same time, hopped down their stools and ran over to Lorelai. Happily they jumped into their mothers arms who hugged them for a moment and then carried them back over to their stools.

"Hey my little princesses" she greeted her girls and gave them each a kiss on the cheek. Luke gave the girls a serious look.

"How often have I said to you not to jump on your mommy the next few months?" Both girls looked at the floor with a sad expression on their faces. They knew that daddy wasn't mad at them. He was just worried about mommy.

"Sorry Daddy" Linnea said shy and Leyla apologized too. When he saw his little girls like that Luke just walked around the counter and took them in his arms.

"Hey, I'm not mad at you two. I'm just worried about your mom."

"I know, Daddy." Linnea answered. Luke picked them both up from their stools and put hem down on the ground.

"Good, then go and sit with your brother at the table." And so they both ran over to the table where their brother sat. Luke got up and was now directly in front of Lorelai. He looked at her for a moment and then kissed her passionately for a few seconds.

"Hey" he said after breaking the kiss. He still wasn't so good with showing affection in public.

"Hey back." Lorelai answered and kissed him on the cheek.

"Babe, it's really sweet when you're so worried but I'm just pregnant and not seriously ill." Lorelai sat down on one of the stools at the counter, still looking at Luke.

"I know, Lorelai. But you went into premature labor three weeks ago and I'm just worried." Luke gently put his hands on Lorelais six month pregnant belly. She put her hands on his and let their fingers intertwine. For a moment they remained like that until Lorelai looked into his eyes again.

"Don't worry. I take care of us." With these words she squeezed Luke's hands for a second.

"Okay" Luke answered, stoke over her belly and went back to work.

---

In the evening they all sat together in the living room on the couch and Lorelai just finished the bedtime story for the triplets.

"and they all lived happily ever after." She closed the book and looked at their children.

"Mommy?" Leo looked at his mother.

"Yes angel?"

"What are we going to do tomorrow?" at this question even both girls looked up who were previously busy frolicking around with their dad.

"Yeah mommy, what are we going to do?" Since Lorelai went into premature labor three weeks ago she wasn't allowed to work anymore and so she spent almost all her time with her kids. They went to the movies or to the zoo.

"I don't know. What do you want to do? Any special whishes?"

"Can we go to the new big playground in Hartford, Mommy?" Leo asked.

"Oh yeah, Mommy. Let's go to the playground" Leyla and Linnea pleaded excitedly.

"Okay, we're going to the playground then. But now bed time."

Luke and Lorelai put the kids to bed and they fell unusually fast asleep. Especially Leo was extremely fast asleep because the baseball game made him tired.

A little later Luke and Lorelai were lying in bed together. Lorelai was lying on her side, with her back against Luke's chest and he had his arm draped around her and was stroking her belly.

"Are you sure you wanna go to the playground tomorrow? To watch over all three of them alone is really exhausting. Don't you wanna wait until I have time to come with you?" He asked her. You could hear the concern in his voice.

"Babe, I'll sit on a bench and watch over them. I won't overwork myself with that." Lorelai was slowly getting tired of that topic. But somehow it was cute how worried he was about her and the baby. He has been so scared during her last pregnancy and the kidnapping that all of this came back now.

"If you think so." was the only thing Luke said and Lorelai turned around to that she could look him in the eye.

"Yeah, I think so!" she gave him a soft kiss. „And now let's go to sleep, okay?" Luke made himself comfortable behind her without taking his hand from her belly.

"Okay, good night."

"Night babe."

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**sooo this was the first chapter. nothing much happend but it's cute, isn't it? soooo... did you like it? please, please leave a review. **


	2. Chapter 2

**updaaaaaaate... didn't take me that long this time, huh? ;)**

**suusje23: thanks for your review. I love spoiling my readers **

**vakan: don't be scared... okay, it will be bad but i promise you all: no more kidnapping:D**

**softbalgurl09: I'm relieved that you promise to not stop reading. So I will have at least one reader left. ;-)**

**Tears4Chris and purplekirbyshaft: thanks you for leaving a review.**

**Alyssa1120: I'm glad that you like drama cause this will have a lot drama.**

**okay... this is the last happy chapter but still, let us repeat our mantra: EVERYTHING WILL BE GOOD IN THE END!!!**

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**Chapter 2**

If you have to spend the whole day at work and caring for your kids then you sometimes wish to have a day free. Just one day. But what if when you're suddenly not allowed to work anymore and your kids are at the kindergarten? Then it soon can get boring.

You can do many different things against boredom. You can read a book or watch tv. You can sing and dance to loud music. But even all this was boring after a time.

After she walked around the streets of Stars Hollow for a time and had stopped a few times just to let Babette and Miss Patty paw her baby belly she decided to annoy her loving husband a little until she had to pick up the kids.

Through the window she saw that the Diner was almost empty. Just Kirk sat at a table and was busy with his French toast.

Lorelai opened the door and brought the bells over it to jingle.

"Hello my beloved husband." She entered the Diner und looked for Luke who was behind the counter, rolling his eyes at her.

"Lorelai, how often do I have to remind you: no yelling in the Diner!?" Lorelai walked over to the counter with a smile and kissed Luke.

"But I'm bored, babe"

"Then read the book you bought last week." Luke suggested.

"Already done reading" she answered.

"Then listen to the CD I bought for you two days ago" Luke tried again.

"I know all the songs by heart already."

"Watching tv?" Luke tried a last time,

"There are only reruns and they're boring too." Lorelai said a little annoyed by Luke. It seemed a little as if he wanted to get rid of her. She knew that it wasn't true but somehow it still got her in a bad mood. Stupid pregnancy hormones.

"Okay, I give up." Luke said, put the rag aside with that he had wiped the counter, leaned with his hands against the counter and looked at Lorelai.

"What do you want?" he asked her. He meant what she wanted to order but Lorelai, of course, made a joke out of it.

"You!!!" she answered and started flirting with Luke. It was always hard for Luke not to just drag her up the stairs when she looked at him like that but this time he just took a deep breath and looked at Lorelai, shaking his head.

"Lorelai!" Lorelais smile disappeared.

"ok, ok… then I want coffee" She looked at him with sparkling eyes.

"Forget it!" was the only thing she got as answer and the sparkling disappeared from her eyes. Slowly she started to pout. Luke couldn't look at it any longer and leaned over the counter to kiss her shortly but passionately. Lorelai immediately had a smile on her face again.

"Blueberry muffin?" Luke asked and Lorelai nodded.

She ate her muffin in total silence. Every now and then she looked over at Luke and their eyes met. When she was done she looked at Luke expectant.

"Luuuke… I'm still bored." But before Luke could respond Kirk had to butt in. He wouldn't be Kirk if he hadn't listened to their whole conversation.

"Lorelai, if I could propose something to you. There was always this game that you and Rory always played. You could play it with Luke. It was something with hickey…"

"BAGELHOCKEY!" Lorelai exclaimed happily and looked at Luke.

"Come on Luke, let's play bagelhockey." She clapped her hands in excitement, happy to have found a solution for her boredom problem. Luke shot an angry look at Kirk and looked back at Lorelai.

"You don't really think that I will actually play bagelhockey with you, do you?" Lorelai looked at him with big eyes.

"come on Luke, please, just one game. Do it for us." She looked at him in a seductive way and pointed at her stomach. Luke just couldn't resist that look. Reluctantly he grabbed a bagel and placed it on the counter, ready to sacrifice himself. At this moment Lorelai looked at the clock and she saw that she was almost too late. She jumped from her stool at the counter and Luke looked at her confused.

"I totally forgot the time. I have to pick up the kids." She explained. Luke also looked at the clock and saw that she was right.

"I'll walk over there to get them and then I will come back here and we'll drive from here to the playground." Luke just nodded.

"Okay, be right back, babe." With these words she kissed him again and left the Diner.

---

Half an hour later they all sat together in the Diner. Luke had made his kids something to eat and packed some things for Lorelai to take to the playground in case the kids got hungry or wanted something to drink. Luke was just busy helping Linnea into her jacket.

"Hey Daddy, can't you come with us?" Leo asked who stood in front of him.

"I would love to but Lane isn't here today and I can't let Cesar alone." All three kids looked at him with a sad face. Luke felt so bad that he had to disappoint his kids but he just couldn't leave work.

"You know what? On Saturday, when daddy doesn't have to work we will all do something together. What do you think?" All three started to smile again and jumped up and down in excitement. Luke walked his family out and helped Lorelai to sit the kids into their car seats. When he was done he gave everyone of them a kiss on the forehead.

"See you later, kiddos"

"See you later Daddy. We love you" Leyla answered suddenly. Luke immediately started to beam.

"I love you too" he waved at them and then closed the car door. When he turned around Lorelai stood directly behind him. They looked each other in the eye until Luke kissed her gently. He put his arms around her waist and looked at her.

"And take care of you. Don't overstrain yourself." Lorelai just smiled and kissed him again, this time more passionately. When she ended the kiss she looked at him again and he could see in her eyes that she definitely wanted to continue this tonight.

"See you later, babe." She winked at him. „I love you!"

"I love you too and take care."

"I will, don't worry." And with these words she got into the car and closed the door.

Luke looked after them until they disappeared behind the next turn.

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**Sorry that it was so short but next chapther the drama will start. so please pleeease pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaase leave a revie!!!**


	3. Chapter 3

**here comes the next chapter ;)**

**TrueLovex3LL: don't be scared, it's just my crazy mind ;) thanks for the review**

**Alyssa1120: still a little short, I know but the chapters will get longer eventually. And the drama starts from now ;) thanks for reviewing**

**softballgurl09: I love that you are coming up with things in your head. keep it up. I love to read what the readers think will hapen. tank you so much for the review.**

**xogilmoregirlsox10: Wow, that you so so much for your review :D**

**purplekirbyshaft: thaaaanks for reviewing**

**vakan: I don't want to say aanything to your review or I would give away too much of the story but thank you for the review and I love it that you're speculating about what might happens.**

**suusje23: to the sings in your review I can oly say: yes!!! thanks for reviewing.**

**okay... from now on it starts to get bad. I'm going to explain something from this chapter in the end so please read my AN at the end of the chapter.**

**and once again we will repeat our matra: EVERYTHING WILL BE GOOD IN THE END!!!**

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**Chapter 3**

The und sent her warm sunbeams down to earth. The birds were chirping and you could here the beautiful sound of children's laughter.

Lorelai sat on a bench with closed eyes enjoying the warmth of the sun. When she opened her eyes again she saw her three kids playing. It was already afternoon and so there was only one more mother beside her at the playground.

While she watched her kids she got lost in her thoughts. She somehow thought about her life so far. The day she met Luke. The day they got married. The kidnapping was only a little shadow in her mind because when she thought about it she also thought about the birth of her babies and was a too happy moment to be overshadowed by all the other things. Oh, her kids. These three were the best thing that could've happen to her and the new baby was already on its way. She knew that it wouldn't be easy to be pregnant again in her age but she didn't care. At this moment her life couldn't be more perfect.

„Mommyyy…", she was pulled out of her thoughts so suddenly. Lorelai looked hastily around for the voice because it sounded whiney. One moment later she saw Linnea sitting in the sand crying. Lorelai got up and ran over to her daughter. She slowly knelt down beside her.

"Hey princess, what happened?" Linnea crawled over to her mom and cuddled in her arms.

"I fell from the junglegym, mommy" she sniffled in Lorelais shirt and pointed with her little finger to somewhere behind her.

"Aw, poor baby" With these words Lorelai got to her feet and picked Linnea up and hugged her to herself.

"Where does it hurt?" she asked lovingly and stroke Linneas hair. Linnea raised her head and looked at Lorelai.

"here" she said and pointed to her elbow. Lorelai lowered her head and blew over the spot Linnea had pointed at.

"Better?" Lorelai asked and Linnea nodded. They did this blowing thing for a time because Linnea just pointed at other spots that hurt. Lorelai blew over every spot she pointed at until suddenly…

"Lorelai?" A quiet familiar voice asked from behind her. She turned around, Linnea still in her arms, to see who was behind her. Her eyes got wide when she saw who was in front of her.

"Max?" Lorelai looked at him flabbergasted.

"Hello Lorelai." He said and smiled at her.

"What are you doing here?" she asked him a little dismissive. She would've never thought that she would see Max again and especially not at a playground.

"I was driving by and saw this woman who looked like you and thought that I would stop and look if it is you." He still smiled at her.

"Well, now you know that it's me" she flamed at him. Lorelai had no idea why she was so mean to him but she had something against his appearance. Before anyone could say anything else Linnea started to speak, who was still in Lorelais arms.

"Mommy, who is this man?" But Lorelai couldn't answer her daughter because Max started talking again.

"Did she just call you Mommy? You… you have a Kid?" With these words his voice got louder. He was almost screaming.

„I don't have **a** kid. I have three." She turned around to look for Leyla and Leo when she saw them rowing sand at each other.

"Hey you two. Stop that." She yelled over to them. Both stopped.

"But mommy, Leyla wrecked my sandcastle", Leo tried to defend himself.

"Not true, you liar." Leyla screamed at her brother.

"Hey stop that! Now!!" Both kids stopped immediately and looked at their mother with teary eyes. Linnea had hid her face in the crook of Lorelais neck because she didn't like it when her mom yelled. She turned back around to Max with an angry expression on her face. Max just looked at her speechless.

"And now you even keep me from looking out for my kids. Ii is your fault if something happens." She spat at him but he didn't seem to notice.

"Lorelai, you have Kids… but… but… how?" Lorelai rolled her eyes.

"Oh Max, come on, I don't think I need to explain the how to you, do I?"

"I just didn't think that you would ever get another kid and especially not three. Why Lorelai?" You could see that Max was totally confused.

"Maybe because I'm married for almost 4 years. God Max, I hope you don't teach you students such stupid questions. But why do I even justify myself?" but Max stopped listening after he heard that she was married.

"You're What?" he screamed and Linnea jerked in Lorelais arms and was whispering "no screaming" all the time. Lorelai looked worried at her daughter and then back to Max.

"Don't scream in front of my kids. You are totally scaring them. And yes, I'm married… what's wrong with it?" Lorelai kissed Linnea on top of the head and then looked at her.

"hey princess, go and play with your siblings. I'll be there to play with you in a few seconds." Linnea looked at her for a moment and then nodded. Lorelai smiled at her, sat her on the ground and Linnea ran over to her brother.

Lorelai got to her feet again and looked at Max but he was looking at her stomach in total shock.

"What? Have you never seen a pregnant woman before?" Lorelai was asking herself why she even bothered to talk to him and didn't just ignore him.

"I just don't understand it Lorelai"

"Okay, I'll try to explain it for dull teachers… Almost 4 years ago I married Luke. After two month of marriage we found out that I'm pregnant with triplets" with these words she pointed behind her to where her kids were playing. "And now, three years later, I'm pregnant again. God, what's so hard to understand about it?" Lorelai shook her head.

"You married Luke? You can't be serious, Lorelai. You couldn't marry me but you married him? Why? Look at your kids. That could have been ours an…" but he couldn't talk further because Lorelai interrupted him.

"No Max. That couldn't have been ours. They're three years old and that thing with us was over five years ago. And I never loved you, Max. I could never have kids with someone I don't love. I love Luke and only Luke. I've always loved him even when we were together and nothing can change that." Exhausted from her little speech she inhaled deeply. Max only snorted at that, turned around and left.

Lorelai was relieved. He was finally gone. But she still wondered what was wrong with him. That wasn't the Max she knew. Shaking her head she banished these thoughts out of her head and looked to her kids. Leo and Linnea where sitting in the sand, building a new sandcastle together while Leyla was climbing on a junglegym at the other side of the playground. The other mom that was still there was busy trying to stop her kid from eating the sand.

Lorelai sat down on the bench and closed her eyes for a moment. But the next thing she heard was the squeak of car tires and an earpiercing, crashing sound.

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**evil cliffy I know... **

**Okay... I wanted to explain 'my' Max here... I know he was totally OOC in this chapter and I know that he would never react like that. I really loved max in the show but I needed him to be like that in this chapter. I needed him to be a jealous jerk that can't accept that Lorelai has moved on. I just wanted to mention that so that you don't attack me because he was so OOC. I'm really sorry about that.**

**But pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease leave a review... chapter 2 hat only 7 reviews and I'm used to more on hold me close.**

**Jule**


	4. Chapter 4

**I love you guys. 9 reviews in not even a day. keep it up ;)**

**I don't know I just felt like translating some more and so you all got lucky (dirty!) and have a new chapter now It doesn't happen much but I think this chapter is really really emotional. get some tissues  
**

**softballgurl09: yeah well... Chris is always the bad guy (and he deserves not better) but I didn't wanna do what everyone does so I made Max the bad guy lol. thx for your review.**

**xogilmoregirlsox10: good to know that your okay with max being ooc and you'll know know what happens ;) thanks for reviewing  
**

**LoreLukeAlways: your review cracked me up lmao especially the looser comment. I couldn't stop laughing. thanks for the review. **

**purplegirbyshaft: thanks you for reviewing.**

**vankan: All three kids? Are you serious? i could never do that. But youll know now what happend annd I know the chapter isn't longer than the one before but I really pomise that they'll get longer... eventually. thank you so much for reviewing.**

**Alyssa1120: I won't say anything to your speculations but youll know now anways. thanks for the review.**

**ggandotlover: awww I really loved your review. thank you so much!**

**TweetyBirdGirl: If you really love lots of drama and a happy ending then your roght here ;) thanks for the review.**

**glo1196: I think you'll kill me after this chapter hides thank you for reviewing**

**And for the second time this day (well here it is 4 am so actually another day but still...) we will repeat our mmantra: EVERYTING WILL BE GOOD IN THE END!!!**

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**Chapter 4**

Your life is perfect. It seems as if everything is just the way it is supposed to be. But the next moment can ruin your perfect world. One tiny moment where everything seems to fall apart in front of your eyes.

No one can foresee this moment in life. No on can stop it. Everyone fears this moment in his life and hopes that it'll never happen.

But when this moment in you life is actually there it feels like you live in a nightmare. Everything seems surreal and you pray to wake up. But you won't wake up. The reality hits you like a fistcuff in the face. Like a kick in your stomach. Everything that'll be left over will be fear and pain.

All this started for Lorelai when she opened her eyes and saw what happened in front of her. The first thing she saw was Leo and Linnea sitting in the sand, starring in another direction in total shock. But when she turned her head slowly in the direction her kids were looking she couldn't breathe anymore.

A black Mercedes had crashed right in the middle of the usually so colorful junglegym. Smoke came out from under the hood of the car. Lorelai started to shake. Slowly her eyes started to look up and down the junglegym. She was looking for something. But she didn't know what. But she was suddenly aware of what she was looking for when she looked at the ground in front of the junglegym. There was lying something. Delicate and small. Like a doll in a yellow sweater and a red pair of dungarees.

A bloodcurdling scream echoed over the playground and then it was quiet. There was no noise at all. No chippering birds. No laughing children. Just quiet.

Lorelai ran over to the junglegym. The way seemed never ending. A miles long way that just wouldn't end. Everything around her disappeared. She only focused on what was in front of her. When she reached her destination she kneeled down. Tears ran down her cheeks.

"Leyla, my baby, Mommy is here…" Carefully and with shaking hands she stroke over the girls pale skin. She didn't get any reaction. She had momentarily the feeling to throw up. The view of her daughter almost made her faint.

Leylas legs were lying in a really bad position and blood ran out of a wound on her head. Lorelai couldn't think straight. Everything was okay a few minutes ago ad now this. Why her? Why one of her kids?

She started to feel for Leylas pulse. It was really low and she realized how her little angel breathed only a little bit. Lorelai wanted to take Leyla in her arms, hold her and tell her that everything will be okay. But she didn't dare to. What if everything would just turn out worse? What if she would hurt Leyla more than she already is? No she couldn't risk that. She would never forgive herself.

So she just sat there and stroke over Leylas dark curly hair. She didn't realize how the driver of the car stood beside her with only a laceration on the forehead. She also didn't realize how Leo and Linnea screamed for her again and again. But they where held back by a passer by that saw the accident.

The silence around the playground was suddenly mixed with the sound of sirens from far away. A few minutes later a police car stopped at the playground followed by an ambulance.

From this moment on everything happened so fast. Lorelai just felt how she was pushed aside so that the paramedics had more space but she didn't move far away. The only thing she wanted was to be with her kid.

The paramedics started to examine Leyla. They talked in their technical jargon but again Lorelai didn't see or hear what happened around her. She only looked at the motionless face of her little girl.

Suddenly something changed in Leylas face. Lorelai didn't realize at first what but then she started to see what it was. It was red like a rose and Lorelai panicked. Blood ran out of Leylas mouth and the paramedics hadn't seen it yet. Like some mad person she tried to make the paramedics see it. Constantly worried about the well being of that little girl they checked her again and again but suddenly the heartbeat was missing. They tried to get it beat again with cardiac massage but got no reaction.

Almost 45 minutes went by since the moment Leylas pulse was gone. No one wanted to give up. No one wanted to loose this little girl. One of the paramedics got a defibrillator out of the ambulance but non of the electronic shocks was effective. The two paramedics and the emergency doctor looked at each other in silence until the emergency doctor shook his head slowly.

Lorelai clung desperately onto the little lifeless hand of Leyla until she felt two big hands on her shoulders which pulled her up.

"Come on, Mrs…" The police man pulled her away forcefully. Away from Leyla. Tears were running down Lorelais cheeks with no end. She didn't feel them anymore. The only thing she felt was pain. An unbelievable pain in her heart. But there was another feeling. Hatred. Hatred against the person who drove the car. Hatred against the person who took away her little angel and had only left pain.

The police man pushed her back to the bench where she had sat earlier. When she looked up to look back in Leylas direction she saw_ him_. The person she hated so much. The driver of the car. She jumped up and ran to him. She didn't pay attention to the people around her. She just wanted to get to him, wanted to hurt him as much as he had just hurt her. She pounced on him and hit her fist against his chest again and again.

"You killed my Kid! You killed my kid!" she screamed over and over again without stopping to hit him.

"Lorelai, I didn't do it on purpose. I swear! There was this cat, I swerved but couldn't control my car anymore. Please…" But with a really hard punch she interrupted him.

"Shut up! That was what you wanted, Max. Revenge because I left you years ago. But why did you take it out on my kid? WHY?" At this moment the police man interrupted them. He slung his arms around Lorelai to hold her so that she would Stopp hitting Max. Lorelai tried to break away. She floundered and even tried to hit the police man. Because the only thing she wanted was to hurt Max. To harm him. But of course the police man was stronger than her and shifted her into the patrol car. He sat her on the back seat and closed the door.

He looked around and saw the other two kids who were still screaming "Mommy, mommy" and floundered in the woman's arms. He felt totally drained. The accident was very upsetting for him. To see this woman suffer so much. To see a kid dying. It was just too much for him. A young colleague came over to him and they talked for a few seconds until she walked over to Linnea and Leo. When she was in front of them they immediately stopped screaming and stood still. The kids looked at her with big eyes.

"hey you two, let's make a deal. Your mommy isn't feeling so good right now and you have to say me where you live and if you tell me where you live we are all driving home in the police car together. What do you think?" She police woman asked them while she kneeled down to be able to look them in the eye.

"yay" Leo exclaimed and Linnea nodded her head. The police woman started to smile and took a hand of each kid to walk to the car with them.

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**okay, you can go on now and kill be in a review hides under her blanket**


	5. Chapter 5

**Here I am again **

**Your reviews make me so happy that I can't stop translating ;) keep it up**

**I know this chapter is short again but I' trying to make it up to you with fast updates.**

**glo1196: hmmm... how will I fix this? There'll obviously be a lot of pain for the whole family** **(especially Lorelai) but there'll be a happy end, even without Leyla. I promise. Thank you for reviewing.**

**xogilmoregirlsox10: I'm touched that you had tears in your eyes while reading it. and you'll see Lukes first reaction now. Please don't die of anxiety... I still need your reviews :p But thank you so much for this review.**

**TrueLovex3LL: Thanks for reviewing and I warned all of you to get some tissues before reading lol**

**LorLukealways: sorry do dissapoint you but Max will not appear again in this story so Luke can't hurt him. I just youldn't write Max anymore after what happened. Thanks for the review.**

**softballgurl09: yeah well the other two kids are fine... Lorelai not so much. And you'll see where Luke is now. thank you for revviewing.**

**buffyangel47: she was your favorite triplet? wow... I always liked Linnea better. thank you for the review.**

**shmow shmow101: thank you so much for your review -blush-**

**Alyssa1120: good to know that you still love this story and thanks for the compliment -blushes again-**

**vakan: wow that would really be a miracle... after over fifteen minutes of death her heart started beating again. Sorry but she is really dead. but just remember that we'll have a happy end ;) **

**Thank you for all your reviews. Let's take each others hands, close our eyes and repeat our mantra again: EVERYTHING WILL BE GOOD IN THE END!!!  
**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

It was a beautiful and warm July afternoon. The mellifluous chirping of the birds was drowned out by the loud humming of a lawn-mower. The last beams of sunlight shone down on the back of the man who was pushing the lawn-mower, wearing a tight grey undershirt.

He didn't know why he had even let himself be talked into mowing the lawn of his neighbours. When he and his wife moved here a few years ago their neighbours just moved with them supposedly because their neighbour's husband couldn't live in this tiny house anymore. He had always banged his head on something.

His neighbour sat on her porch and briefed him for half an hour now, how he had to mow the lawn.

"Luke, look over there. You forgot to mow there." He groaned.

„Babette, I'm not done yet. If you would just let me…" But the high voice of Babette interrupted him again.

"Aaah… Luke, watch where you are mowing. You almost killed Knut." What was going on now? Who for heaven's sake was Knut?

"Knut? Who is Knut?" Luke asked and looked over to Babette because the next moment she jumped up and yelled:

"Ahh… Alfonse! Watch out for Pierpont Lucas!" Luke looked back and saw that he had almost mowed over two of Babette's Gnomes. He rolled his eyes. Did each of these stupid things have a name?

Without thinking about it any further he continued mowing the lawn. The sooner he was done with it the better. He crashed into one of the gnomes for the thousands time today what was commented with a scream from Babette. But he just kneeled down to pick the gnome up again. Thereon the lawn-mover suddenly stopped working and Luke had to grapple with it again to try to get it to work again. After some time and numberless failed attempts the lawn-mower started to hum again. Because of all these loud noises he didn't hear Rory calling him while she was looking out the front door.

"Dad!" she yelled again but Luke still didn't hear her.

"Dad?!" She screaed as loud as she could and Luke finally heard her. He turned out the lawn-mover and turned around to her while she was walking over to him.

"Dad, do you know when Mom will be back?" she asked him.

Luke looked at his watch and started to worry a little. It was almost 6:30pm and usually Lorelai was home by 6.

"Hmmm… She should already be here actually. But I think she'll be back every moment now. " he said to Rory trying to not show her that he was a little worried. Rory just nodded and was about to go back to the house when they heard a car drive up the driveway. Thinking it was Lorelai they were both really shocked when they saw it was a police car that had just stopped in front of their house.

Luke felt like his heart had stopped beating. Why was a police car stopping in front of his house? What happened? Was something wrong with Lorelai or the baby? Or did something happen to the triplets?

His thoughts went crazy. He realized that Rory had put an arm around him. Luke put his around her shoulder and together they walked over to the police man who just came out of the car. When they reached him he took of his hat and looked at Luke. Luke had the urge to throw up. That couldn't mean anything good. He had seen so many movies with Lorelai where the police man took of his hat and it had never been good in those movies.

Slowly the police man started to speak. Luke didn't feel like he was himself. He felt more like a observer who was watching the whole scene. He only heard pieces of what was said. The police man talked about a car accident. At the playground. A card had crashed into the junglegym. And then he heard the worst sentence in his life.

"I'm sorry to tell you that your daughter Leyla was hurt really bad because of this accident so that the paramedics couldn't do anything for her anymore."

And there it is. The moment in which your world shatters in thousand pieces. Exactly that moment where you are praying to be dreaming but deep inside you know it is real. Pain is covering your body. Your soul. Within one second your body is only a lifeless shell in which the pain has found a new home.

Luke felt how Rory's legs wouldn't hold her anymore but he held her on her feet.

The police man said that Lorelai and the kids were in the backseat and that Leo and Linnea fell asleep during the ride. But Luke didn't really catch that anymore. The first tears started to run down his cheeks. It were silent tears. It were just tears of sorrow, of pain, of desperation and even of fear. He feared what would happen now and how that would affect him and his family.

He walked over to the police car with Rory and opened the door to the backseat. The view that was in front of him broke his heart even more.

Lorelai sat in the middle and the Kids were left and right of her, sleeping with their heads on Lorelais thighs. Lorelai sat there like the picture of misery. Looking straight ahead and unmoving. Tear strains on her cheeks.

Luke swallowed and took a deep breath until Rory said that she would bring the kids to bed. Without saying anything else she took first Linnea and then Leo and carried them inside.

Luke carefully sat down beside Lorelai and put his hand over hers. She didn't move. She didn't show any reaction. Seeing his wife like this made everything even worse. Luke knew for sure that Lorelai wouldn't move out of the car by herself and so he carefully pulled her out and took her in his arms.

At this moment Lorelai came back to reality. She threw her arms around Luke and with a loud sob and hid her face in the crook of his neck while she started to cry again. Luke gave her a kiss on the forehead, nodded to the policeman in goodbye and carried Lorelai into the house.

He carried her up to the bedroom where they both laid down in bed. At first they were just lying there, looking at each other, Luke took Lorelai in his arms again. She cuddled up to him to be as near as possible to him and he just held her.

Together they tried to cry the pain out of their body. The pain that had settled down on them on the worst day of their lives.

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**sooo... this was chapter 5... not as good as the last one i think but anyhow review pleeeeeeease **


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys,**

**here I am again. God, I'm so proud of myself for updating so fast the last few days but I don't know... all your reviews make me update faster because I'm so curious what you'll think about the new chapter lol**

**I'm too tired and exhausted today to answer to all your reviews but I hope you guys know that I love you all for your reviews. THANKS! -group hug-**

**Okay and I think you'll need some more tissues this chapter so here... -puts a tissue box in front of everyone-**

**And once again, and today in a really tired voice from me, we will repeat our mantra: EVERYTHING WILL BE GOOD IN THE END!!! **

* * *

**Chapter 6**

When Luke woke up the next morning he had a feeling of emptiness inside him. An emptiness that tried to devour him from inside. He didn't need to think long to know what caused this emptiness. He couldn't believe it. Didn't want to believe it.

Carefully he turned his head to the side and looked at Lorelai. She was sleeping in his arms. But she was pale. Too pale to be honest and her eyes where swollen from all the crying last night. This view made his heard ache again. For once because he couldn't stand seeing Lorelai like this and because it brought him one more step back into reality what meant that everything that happened yesterday was really true.

Slowly and without waking Lorelai he got up. It was better for her to sleep as long as she could. Quietly he walked out of the room. On his way over to the stairs he passed the nursery. He stopped for a moment and looked inside. It was empty. The kids seemed to be awake already and when he looked a little closer he saw that only two of the three beds where unmade. One of the pink beds on the left side was unused.

Lukes eyes filled with teas again but he didn't wanna cry again so he closed the door, took a deep breath and walked over to the stairs.

Half way down the stairs he stopped again and looked at the scene in front of him.

Leo and Linnea where sitting on the couch and where watching tv. But something was missing in this scene.

_**Flashback**_

Sleepily he walked down the stairs and the first thing he saw where his kids in the living room. Linnea was peacefully watching the cartoon that was on tv while Leo and Leyla where fighting for the remote again. Every day they fought about it because everyone wanted to watch something else. Besides Linnea. She was always happy with whatever was on tv. Even if it was only the weather report.

In the meantime Leo had the remote in his hand and tried to hold it as far away from Leyla as he could while they were both rolling on the floor. Leyla tried to get it again and again.

"Give me the tv changing thingy" She yelled at Leo and pulled on his arm.

"No! I wanna watch this" he answered and pointed at the tv.

"But I don't wanna watch it. It's stupid."

"Not true"

"True"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

But before Leyla could yell another „yes" Luke had grabbed the remote out of Leos hand and handed it to Linnea.

The other two kids looked at their dad with big eyes. Luke kneeled down between both of them.

"Okay, deal. Leyla, you'll go upstairs and try to wake your mommy. As soon as she is awake and you get her downstairs you can watch whatever you want, okay?"

Leyla started to smile and nodded. Luke carefully pushed her a little in with that she was on her way to her parent's bedroom. In the meantime Leo had sat down on the couch again and was watching the cartoon with Linnea.

Luke was relieved that Leyla went through with his deal because when she would be done waking Lorelai, Leos tv show would probably be over already and so she could watch whatever she wanted.

_**End Flashback**_

Tears started to run down his cheeks at this memory. Even if it was exhausting to keep them from fighting every morning he wished that he could just do this now.

Sighing he walked down the last bit of the stairs and sat down on the couch beside his Kids. Leo looked over to him.

"Morning Daddy" greeted the little boy his father and looked at him skeptically.

"Morning big boy" he answered and rubbed through his son's hair shortly.

„Daddy, Rory said that she went over to uncle Cesar real quick to talk to him. She said you don't have to work today." The boy started to talk just like his mother while he cuddled nearer to his dad. Linnea as well, had noticed her father and had made her way over to sit in his lap.

She looked into his eyes and saw that a Tear was running down his cheek. She stroke it away with her little thumb.

"Daddy?" she started. „Did we do something wrong?" she asked carefully and Luke looked into her deep blue eyes.

Luke was confused by this question.

"Oh no, sweety, why do you think that?" he asked and stroke through her hair.

"'Cause mommy was so angry at the playground yesterday. And then she cried and just left Leyla there alone and when we got home you and Rory started to cry too." She told him without taking a breath. Leo nodded and added:

"Yes, Mommy just left Leyla there alone and that's why Linnea and I where really good kids this morning so that she doesn't leave us alone somewhere too." Luke was totally shocked of what his kids where saying. Did they really believe that Lorelai just left Leyla alone? And did the really think that she would give them away too just because they're bad sometimes. He really couldn't believe what he just had heard. Just how should he tell them the truth?

He turned carefully so that he could look both his kids in the eye.

"Sweeties, that's not true what you are saying. Mommy and I love you really really much and we would never leave you somewhere." Linnea and Leo just nodded and looked at their dad.

"But where is Leyla then?" Leo asked. Luke took a deep breath and tried to explain it to them as easy as possible.

"Okay… Leyla isn't here anymore. She is in heaven now and takes care of you two and your new baby sister or brother from up there. That's why mommy, Rory, I and all the other are so sad because now that Leyla is up there she can't come back. But Leyla thought it would be better to take care of you from up there and she'll be fine there." Sighing he ended is little speech and waited for a reaction from his kids.

Their faces where expressionless and Luke could literally see how they were processing his words. Tears stated to run down his cheeks again. The next moment Linnea threw her arms around him and hugged him really hard. Leo looked at him and asked:

"Daddy, do you think the other people up there will love her as much as we do?" Luke had to smile a little.

"Of course they will" he answered. Now Leo, too, threw his arms around him and Luke whispered into their ears: "Don't be sad then she'll really be okay."

He hugged them to his body and was happy to have such wonderful kids.

---

As soon as the kids were back to watching tv Luke went upstairs to look for Lorelai. When he entered the bedroom he saw that Lorelai lay with her back to him. Carefully he walked around the bed so that he wouldn't wake her if she was still asleep. But she wasn't asleep anymore. Crying she was lying in bed and hugged Leylas pink stuffed rabbit to her face. She must've got it out of the nursery when he was downstairs.

Luke lay down in bed with her and put his arms around her to show her that he was there. After a while she turned around in his arms and looked deep into his eyes. Luke had never seen so many different feelings in the eyes of anyone he knew. One the one side her eyes showed big misery and pain and on the other side they showed appreciation that he was there.

"Luke, it's my fault. I should've watched out for them more." She sobbed. Luke gently stroke her hair.

"No Lorelai, it's not your fault. Even if you would've watched out for them mor3e you couldn't have gotten her from the junglegym when the car came." He tried to calm her.

"Yes it is my fault! Leo and Leyla where fighting again and I yelled at them and that's why she was on the junglegym. Otherwise she would've been sitting in the sand with Linnea and Leo and nothing would have happened. It's my fault, Luke. Mine!" Her hands grabbed his shirt and she cried harder and harder.

Luke didn't know what to say to this. He knew it wasn't her fault. But he just didn't know how to make it clear to her.

After some time she had calmed down a little.

"Luke, I couldn't tell her that I love her. The last thing I said to her was that she should stop fighting with Leo. I couldn't tell her anymore, Luke." She started crying again. Luke hugged her more closely and said:

"She knows it, Lorelai. She knows it!"

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**so that wasthe chapter... I always thought it was cute and so so sad how the kids think Lorelai just left Leyla at the playground and how Luke explained to them where Leyla is now. so anyways, tell me what YOU thought.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey everyone...**

**here is the next chapter... I'm so damn proud thatI'm updating so fast the last time. Aren't you all proud of me? -g-**

**you are all going to need tissues again 'cause this is Leylas funeral chapter. **

**Everything that is _bold and italic_ are song lyrics... everything that is **_just italic_** is Lukes speech.**

**So and we will remember once again: EVERYTHING WILL BE GOOD IN THE END!!!**

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**Chapter 7**

Lorelai's condition didn't change in the last two days. She just lay in bed all day with Leyla's pink stuffed rabbit in her arms and starred at the ceiling.

She stopped crying a long time ago because she didn't have the strength for it anymore. She only ate something when Luke was with her and even then he had to practically force her to eat. And she left the bed only to go to the bathroom.

It wasn't easy. Especially not for the kids. They had accepted that Leyla wouldn't come back. Linnea had cried at night a few times because she missed her sister but she was over it now. But it was hard for them that their mommy never really left her bed and didn't really care for them anymore. Sometimes they crawled into bed with her and cuddled up to her until they fell asleep.

But today even Luke didn't wanna leave the bed because today was Leylas funeral. He feared this day. It meant saying goodbye once and for all and he feared Lorelais reaction.

He had brought the other two kids to the kindergarten because he didn't want to bring them to the funeral. They wouldn't understand what would happen there.

He got Lorelai out of bed and into the shower and got her to dress in a black skirt and black blouse. He himself was wearing his best suit and now they were walking to the town square.

The only thing Lorelai ever said to Leylas funeral was that she didn't want it to be held in church. It would be too impersonal. And so they were all saying goodbye to Leyla in front of the gazebo.

Luke had already seen it this morning. The whole gazebo was decorated with black tulle. In front of the gazebo where chairs for all the people that wanted to say goodbye.

But this time the chairs where already filled with people. Everyone was there. Emily and Richard. Rory and Marty. Even Mia was sitting in the front row. The whole town was there. The next moment Lorelai suddenly winced and hid her face in his chest. He didn't even know why at first but then he saw it too. The small white casket in front of the stairs of the gazebo.

Luke had so swallow hard a few times. It was even for him hard to look in that direction but he had to be strong now. For Lorelai. He knew that she couldn't do this without him. Slowly he half carried her to Rory and Mia in the front row and sat down. Lorelai didn't look up. She still hid her face. She didn't wanna see the casket in which her daughter was lying.

When they all calmed down a little the Reverent stepped into the gazebo and held his funeral service.

Everyone was crying. Lorelai cried really hard on Lukes chest and Rory on Martys. Luke had tears running down his cheeks, too, but he tried with all his strength to get a grip but it didn't work.

When the reverent was done some other people where going to give a speech. Rory, Mia and even Emily and Richard. When everyone was done with his or her speech the casket was carried over to the small cemetery of stars hollow. Followed by all the people.

Lorelai still didn't look up. Luke almost carried her now. But he didn't care because he knew that as soon as they reached the cemetery the worst part would start. His speech.

Silently they all entered the cemetery and stopped in front of a small excavated grave which was surrounded by colorful flower wreaths.

The reverent started to speak again for a moment but then it was Lukes turn. He dragged Lorelai with him in front of all the people and looked at them. It was hard for him to start talking. Somehow it meant the end. He took a deep breath and then started with a shaking voice.

_Hey princess,  
**Hard to say goodbye to you.  
Time has come to face the truth.**  
I hope you are okay wherever you are.  
We are all really sad because you're not here anymore.  
We can't understand why you had to go.  
**Sky is crying in the deepest blue.  
Here is the song I wrote for you.**  
You where still so young.  
There is so much I would have loved to experience with you.  
**Borderline there is still together till forever.  
Borderline god I miss you.**  
Your first lost tooth.  
Your first day at school.  
Your first cup of coffee,  
which I would've tried to stop you from.  
**Borderline is the wall between us can you hear us.  
Borderline from up above**  
Your first good and bad grade you would've brought home.  
Your first boyfriend,  
whom I had probably instructed to be good to you.  
Your first big shopping tour with Mommy and Linnea  
while Leo and I would've stayed home with your new sibling.  
**Thank you for the times we shared.  
Remember all the fun we had.**  
Or even your first lovesickness.  
These are so many things we can't experience together anymore.  
I just can't understand it.  
**Now you're gone  
I was not prepared**  
Back then when you were born I was just happy__ to hold you and your siblings in my arms after all these horrible days.  
**Can't believe  
It is so sad**  
To see that you're well and healthy.  
That you're alive.  
And now only three years later I have lost you.  
**Borderline there is still together till forever  
Borderline god I miss you  
Borderline is the wall between us can you hear us  
Borderline from up above**_

Luke stopped for a moment and let his tears freely run down his cheeks. Lorelai still was sobbing into his chest and didn't look at the white casket with the angel gravure on it. Luke took a deep breath and continued.

_But don'__t worry about us, my angel.  
We are filled with pain and misery because you're not here anymore but someday we'll feel better again.  
**S**__**omeday we will meet in heaven  
although this would take a while**  
Promise me to look out for your siblings from up there.  
Leyla, my princess,  
Mommy and I will miss you so much and we love you.  
**Then we sing this song together  
'Cause I finally cross the line**  
Don't forget that.  
Goodbye._

Luke threw four roses into her grave. One from each Linnea and Leo and one from him and Lorelai.

But at this moment Lorelai collapsed in his arms. She had finally looked up fort he first time since the funeral begun and the only thing she saw was how they let the casket slowly down into the grave.

* * *

**Sooooo... this was Leylas funeral. The song during Lukes speech was borderline by Mars Saibert. **

**I'm going to visit my best friend from wednesday till Monday evening... I'll try to update a few times till then and I will take my laptop with me so that I can translate during my four and a half hour long train ride. I'll try to update from her PC then. Just thought I let you know.**

**so pleeeeeeeeeeease leave a review... the more reviews I get the faster I'll update **


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys...**

**a new chapter for you... sorry that it took me some days but as I mentioned before I'm visiting a friend right now and am not on the PC very often... but I still translated a chapter for you ;)**

**This is nothing special... just a filler... so don't expect too much.**

**thank you for aaaall your reviews...they make me sooooooo happy **

**ok... before reading the new chapter let's repeat our mantra: EVERYTHING WILL BE GOOD IN THE END!!! **

* * *

**Chapter 8**

Lorelai hugged the pink stuffed rabbit to her face. When she smelled the familiar scent it was again as if someone punched her in the stomach. An overwhelming pain rushed through her heart and she suddenly had a lump in her throat which almost made her suffocate.

Panic rose inside of her. There was no noise in the house besides the quiet ticking of the clock on the wall. She was alone. She looked over at the alarm clock which told her in bright numbers that it was 5:15am. Now, three weeks after the funeral, Luke had started working again.

He didn't like the thought of leaving Lorelai alone at home but he had to somehow live on.

Lorelai felt nauseous and ran over to the bathroom where she kneeled down in front of the toilet.

Leyla was gone and she wouldn't come back. That was reality. She would never again listen to The Bangles together with her and Linnea and dance to it. She would never again watch 'I dream of Jeannie' with her even if she always fell asleep during it. Never again would they fool around until their bellies hurt from all the laughing. Nothing was left except a bunch of memories and a picture of Leyla's face in her head that got shade off every passing day.

She had had a really simple plan: She just wanted to see her three eldest kids grow up. A plan that everyone would think is so easy to realize because everybody knew that Lorelai was a great mother and that together with Luke they were just the best parents someone could wish for. But then fate decided to frustrate this plan. The end came too fast.

-

The tiles were ice cold. Lorelai flushed the toilet with shaking hands and got up shakily. She walked from one room to the other sobbing and big tears ran down her cheeks. Her eyes were red and puffy but the night didn't seem to end. In no room she could find comfort. During the hated silence she looked around herself and partly expected the couch to reach out her arms for her. But even that she seemed to ignore.

-

When she woke up again one could see that she had cried. As so often these days, since Luke was working again, she had fallen asleep in the early hours of the day because of exhaustion. She would awake entirely uptight then, always on a different piece of furniture. Most of the time a call from Luke or a worried Rory would wake her. They probably thought she wouldn't do anything else but lie in bed and sleep. But why did nobody call when she paced through the house and search the house for… well, for what actually? What did she hope to find?

"Hello?" she answered fuzzily. Her nose was constantly bunged up but she didn't want to set up a brave face for anyone. Her little angel wasn't there anymore and no make-up, fresh air or shopping spree would help to get over it. Nothing of that could fill the black hole in her heart.

"Hey, sorry honey, did I wake you?" Came Luke's worried voice out of the phone. Always the same question. Every morning Luke called from the Diner to see if she had gotten out of bed. Sure, he was afraid to wake her but on the other hand he was relieved that Lorelai could convince herself to get the phone.

"No, I was just dozing anyway. It's alright." She replied bluntly. Her answer was always the same as well.

"I brought the kids to the kindergarten and breakfast time is over. Except from Kirk no one's here anymore and I was just thinking about you." Why did always surge up tears in her eyes by the sound of his compassionate voice? She could figuratively imagine Luke and how he would stand in the Diner with his back against the counter, one hand in his back pocket, his other hand holding the phone, his forehead pursed. But that didn't soothe her. It just intimated even more why everyone was worrying. It wasn't right! Everything should be normal! Leyla should go to the kindergarten together with her siblings and have fun and she should sit in the Diner and keep Luke company.

With lots of "Hmm" and "Aha" she wound herself through the conversation without catching anything.

"It's beautiful outside, Lorelai. A walk would do you good. A little fresh air."

"Hmm, probably." There it was again, the answer to all problems.

"Cesar could take over for me, I'll pick you up and we'll go for a walk."

"Leave it, Luke, thanks. But I'm fine."

Silence.

"Alright then… then just call me in case you change your mind. I always take my time for you! And oh, I'm home early."

"Okay."

Again silence.

"Thanks anyway, Luke."

"Good… and please, Lorelai, eat something."

"I will." Lorelai just wanted to hang up the phone when Luke started again.

"Oh Lorelai, I almost forgot something. You doctor called." Lorelai rolled her eyes. She had probably called because Lorelai hadn't turned up for their last appointment. But she just couldn't. Leaving the house seemed impossible for her. The gazes of the residents of Stars Hollow would tear her apart. She wouldn't be able to bear these gazes.

"She said you hadn't turned up for your last appointment."

"Hmm… yeah that's possible."

"Lorelai, why didn't I know about that appointment? It's important. It's about our baby."

"Luke…" she began but he interrupted her.

"I took tomorrow off and made a new appointment."

Lorelai dropped the phone. Tomorrow was the big day then. Tomorrow she would have to face the town. But she was glad that Luke would accompany her because without him she wouldn't be able to make it at all.

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**sooo... that was chapter 8... like i said it was nothing special but pleeeeeeease do me a favor and review anyhow... it makes me update faster!**


	9. Chapter 9

**heey everyone...**

**An new chapter for all of you and I have to say this is the longest chapter i have ever written ;) I really hope you like it.**

**but I have to say I'm a little disappointed in you all... was the last chapter that bad or why didn't I get as much reviews as usually?**

**well anyways, enjoy the new chapter and don't forget to repeat our mantra: EVERYTHING WILL BE GOOD N THE END!!!  
**

* * *

**Chapter 9**

Lorelai woke up the next morning and the first things she smelled were fresh pancakes with bacon. She didn't open her eyes but took a deep breath. The smell let her relax. The smell was so familiar that she couldn't help feeling comfortable for the moment. It reminded her of the smell of the Diner and the Diner reminded her of Luke. And when she thought about Luke she had to think about her kids and what a wonderful family she had. But then she also remembered that an important part of her family wasn't there anymore.

Sighing she let herself fall back into the pillows. She wanted to try and sleep for a little longer but at the next moment she heard the door being opened.

Lorelai opened her eyes slowly and saw Luke enter the bedroom with a breakfast tray in his hands. He put the tray down on the nightstand and sat down next to her on the bed.

He smiled at her and kissed her on the forehead. It seemed as if she felt a little better and he wanted it to stay that way.

"Good morning, sleepyhead" he greeted her.

"Morning" she rubbed her eyes.

"I already brought the kids to the kindergarten and thought I'd surprise you with a breakfast in bed" This time she even smiled at him, too, and that was more than Luke whished for. She has been so withdrawn lately that this small smile seemed like a big progress.

They sat besides each other silently and enjoyed their breakfast. It was a comfortable silence and both were deep in thought.

When they were done Luke put the tray back on the nightstand and took Lorelais hands in his.

"I'll do the dishes real quick and then we can leave. Go get dressed in something comfortable." She nodded silently and with that he kissed her on the forehead again and left the room.

Immediately after he closed the door behind himself Lorelai fell back into the pillows and pulled the blanket up and over her head. She had to take deep breathes. Why did she feel so sick when she thought about leaving the house? She only had to walk a few steps from her house until she was in the car. That couldn't be that hard, could it?

Reluctantly she got up and carried her limp body over to her closet. She grabbed one of her maternity Jeans and a Hello Kitty shirt and disappeared into the bathroom.

---

In the meantime Luke was busy doing the dishes. But he couldn't stop thinking about Lorelai.

She had smiled a little today. It wasn't much but it was progress. Who had known Lorelai would've never thought that it someday would be a miracle when she laughed. Normally she would spark with high spirit. But since Leylas death a month ago she was like a shadow of herself.

It wasn't easy for Luke either. He, too, wanted to crawl into bed and never get up again in the beginning. But then he thought about his other two kids and he knew he had to be strong.

The only thing he hoped for now that Lorelai will somehow find her way back into her normal life. It hurt him to see her like this. And most of all the kids didn't understand what was wrong with their mommy. Luke had told them she just missed Leyla so much.

Maybe the doctor's appointment would help. To see her baby and to see that it was worth to live again.

Just when he was done with the dishes he heard steps on the stairs and when he walked over to the living room he saw Lorelai sitting on the couch. Her eyes where swollen and had dark circles under it and her hair was tied into a listless ponytail. She was pale.

Luke sat down on the couch beside her and looked at her.

"Are you ready?" he asked carefully. She looked up and into his eyes.

"Well, I have to be, don't I? It can't be that hard to walk the few steps over to the car."

Luke got nervous. Damn, he forgot to tell her.

"Uhm, Lorelai. I forgot to tell you something" He said and looked at her.

"I took the kids with me to the Diner yesterday evening but they were in such high spirits so I had to get them tired somehow so that they wouldn't be up all night and so I walked home with them. And uhm… What I actually wanted to say is… The car is still at the Diner"

Lorelai's eyes got wide in shock. That couldn't be true. But when she looked into Lukes guilty looking face she knew it was true.

"No Luke! I can't do that. I can't bear walking through town. I can't bear the looks of the people on me while they turn around and whisper things about me. I just can't bear it, Luke." Lorelai was shaking in panic and you could see that she would start to cry any minute. Luke took her hands in his stroke with his thumbs over the back of her hands. He didn't really know what to say but he could see that she wasn't fully done talking yet, so he said nothing. Lorelai looked at her hands in his and sobbed silently.

"Luke, I'm trying so hard to be brave. For you. For the kids. But I can't. I just can't. The pain and the fear are stronger" She wiped her tears away with her shirt but didn't look up from her hands.

"Have you ever heard the saying 'you have to be scared to be brave' before?"

Lorelai looked into his eyes and thought about what he said. Before she could say something he was talking again.

"We are all scared. It's ok to be scared but there will be a day when you won't be scared anymore. Look at our Kids. They need you" He put one of her hands on her stomach.

"The baby needs you. And I need you! We can get over it together, Lorelai" Luke looked her in the eyes while he said these words and didn't let her look away. The next moment Lorelai had her arms wrapped around him and sobbed into his shirt. He stroke her back and when she finally stopped crying he broke the embrace. With his thumb he wiped away the last remaining tars from her cheeks.

"Are you ready?" he asked again and this time she nodded determined. Luke stood up and pulled her up with him. Together they walked through the living room and out on the porch. Lorelai looked around nervously while Luke locked the door. Luke saw her scared look and put an arm around her shoulder. Together they walked down the porch steps and started their way to the Diner. They didn't even crossed half of the front yard when a door flew open and a shrill female voice started to yell:

"Lorelai honey, are you alright?" Luke rolled his eyes.

"Yes Babette, everything's okay" he answered instead of Lorelai who just smiled weakly at her neighbor. Luke tightened his arm around Lorelai a little more and they continued their way. As soon as Babette couldn't see Luke and Lorelai anymore she ran into her house and called a number,

"Patty, she is back!!!"

---

On their way to the Diner they were greeted from almost everyone who passed their way. Lorelai seemed to calm down with every step she made.

When they reached the Diner Luke opened the car door for her and helped her in. He sat down behind the steering wheel but before he turned on the engine he looked over to her. A small smile was on her lips while she watched the happenings around the gazebo. Luke put a hand on her thigh what made her look up to him.

"It wasn't as bad as I imagined it" she said and gave him an almost Lorelai-typical smile. He moved his hand up and down her thigh for a moment and then started the engine.

The drive was anything but silent. He told hr about the last few weeks. About the Diner, Kirk and Taylor and most of all the kids. Lorelai listened interested and commented one of his stories once in a while.

After a 40 minutes drive they stopped in front of the Hartford hospital. Hand in hand they entered the building. After they told the receptionist that they're there they were immediately brought into one of the examination rooms. The doctor came in a few minutes later.

"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Danes" she said and they shook hands.

"How are you and the kids?"

"Concerning our health we're all fine" Luke answered. If he just would have said 'we're good' he would have been lying. The doctor didn't say anything more because she knew what had happened.

"Ok. Then I'd say we'll dedicate all our attention to our little guest of honour. Mrs. Danes please lie down over there and we'll listen to the heartbeat of your baby first" Lorelai got up and walked over to where the doctor had pointed and laid down. The doctor put something around her stomach and put on some headphones. She started to smile.

"The heartbeat is excellent. Do you wanna hear it?" With these words she handed the headphones over to Luke and Lorelai that listened to their baby's heartbeat in awe. After a few seconds they gave the headphones back to the doctor.

"Okay, then let's do an ultrasound to see if the baby is healthy and growing right" Lorelai pulled her shirt up a little more so that the doctor could 'use' her whole stomach. When the cold gel got in touch with Lorelais stomach she jerked a little. She didn't remember that it was **that** cold.

The doctor started to move the wand over Lorelais stomach and started to explain.

"Look, this is the head. This is the upper part of the body and the arms. And this is the heart" Luke held Lorelai's hand and both looked at the monitor in awe.

"I could tell you the sex if you want to know?!" Luke looked down to Lorelai who just shrugged. It wasn't and uninterested shrugging it was more to symbolize Luke that she was ok with both and that he should decide if he wanted to know or not. He squeezed Lorelais hand for a moment and then nodded to the doctor.

"okay, It looks like… Congratulation you'll have a little girl"

Luke started to beam. But when he looked at Lorelai he got serious again. Lorelai had lost the smile she had on her face the whole time and was starring at the ceiling. He touched her, waved a hand in front of her. Nothing. Whatever he tried, nothing worked. She just didn't react. The next time he stroke over her had she pulled it away. It was like that the whole way home. Lorelai was starring out the window the whole drive and he concentrated on the road but with his thoughts he was by Lorelai and what happened so suddenly.

Back at home she totally ignored him and walked immediately up to the bedroom und threw the door shut. Luke was completely confused and didn't know what to do. It had seemed like she was doing better. She had walked through town, had smiled and had participated in conversations but then suddenly she had stopped.

He decided to pick up the kids first and to bring them to bed so that Lorelai had enough time to calm down.

---

That night, after he had put Leo and Linnea to bed and cleaned the living room he walked up to the bedroom and knocked at the door. He didn't get an answer. After some hesitating he opened the door carefully and walked in. Lorelai was lying with her back to him on the bed. Luke saw immediately that she wasn't sleeping because she was crying so hard that her whole body was shaking. He sat down beside her on the bed and as soon as she felt he was there she turned around and wrapped her arms around him. Luke lay back on the bed and pulled her closer to him and so he let her cry.

When her sobs subsided he carefully asked.

"Lorelai, please tell me what's going on" she mumbled something he didn't understand because she hid her face in the crook of his neck.

"Take your face away from my throat because I can't understand you like this" Lorelai looked up and then put her head back down on his chest. She couldn't look him in the eye. Luke played with her hair.

"Luke, I don't wand a girl" she almost whispered.

"What?"

"The baby, Luke. I don't want a girl" Luke felt like someone had punched him. What was she saying? Did she really just tell him that she didn't want their baby anymore because it was a girl?

"What are you saying, Lorelai? You were the one who wanted another girl the whole time. You wanted another girl to make it wear cute dresses. You wanted another girl that could get tips from her elder sisters… uhm her elder sister."

Lorelai started to cry again.

"I changed my mind. I don't want a girl anymore" Luke really had do get a grip on himself not to get angry with her.

"Lorelai, I don't believe you. You never change your mind just like that. Tell me the real reason, Lorelai" She sat up suddenly and looked at him with teary eyes.

"You really wanna know why?!" she yelled at him and Luke backed away a little.

"I don't want a replacement for Leyla! I don't want that Leyla gets replaced! That's why I don't want a girl, Luke, that's why!" Lorelai looked almost hysterical now. The way she had yelled at Luke. Now she was lying on her stomach as best as she could, her face hidden in the pillows and crying hard again.

Luke was just shocked by her 'statement'. Lorelai had never before yelled at him like that. But that was negligible. How did she get the crazy idea that the new baby would replace Leyla? That was ridiculous! He grabbed her shoulder and turned her on hr back. He looked her deep in the eyes.

"Listen to me, Lorelai. This baby will not be a replacement for Leyla. _Nobody_ could replace Leyla _ever!_ Leyla was unique and this baby will be unique too! We will _never_ forget Leyla and we'll tell this little girl here a lot about her big sister. I think Leo and Linnea will help with that. And I think we should give her the name we decided on at the beginning of your pregnancy." Lorelai looked at Luke with wide eyes. She would have never expected _such a_ speech from him. But his words made her realize how stupid she had been before. She cuddled back to him and said.

"Yes, I think we should name her like that" Luke understood immediately and put an arm around her and so Lorelai, Luke and little Lorelai Leann fell asleep together.

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**ok this AN is IMPORTANT now... **

**In 9 days I'm leaving for america for two weeks... there are only 3 chapters left of this story and I'm going to try and finish the story before I leae so that you don't have to wait two weeks for a update.**

** sooo leave a lot of review and make me to the luckiest person in the world ;)  
**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey everyone wave**

**uhm... I said somethign wrong in my AN in the last chapter... there are not two chapters left after this one... there are three... so be prepared for really fast updates 'cause I'm flying to america on monday. Someone asked me in a review where I was going... I'm going to visit a friend in Port Huron/Michigan...**

**Well... thank you all so so so so much for reviewing. I love you all XD**

**here is the new chapter and I will not repeat our mantra today... read and see why ;)**

* * *

**Chapter 10**

Since the doctor's appointment and the conversation after with Luke Lorelai felt much better. She ate again without anyone forcing her to. Even if it was only for the baby. She also was more interested in Leo and Linnea again. When they got home from the Kindergarten she listened to their stories and laughed with them. Yesterday she even talked to Michel on the phone to ask if everything at the Inn was ok.

But Lorelai still didn't leave the house and didn't get out of bed so often. Her little walk through town before the doctor's appointment went surprisingly good but she still wasn't brave enough to do it again.

This day around lunch Luke was putting on his coat when he yelled upstairs:

"Lorelai, I'm going to pick Leo up from his baseball training. Linnea is coloring in her room. Please keep an eye on her."

Even if she didn't answer he knew that she heard him and so he stepped out of the house and into the warm fall air. A warm breeze blew over his face and he closed his eyes for a moment.

In the last few weeks his sorrow about Leyla was overshadowed by his worry about Lorelai. He was scared that she wouldn't be able to get over Leyla death but now he slowly started to hope again.

To hope that his life would soon be normal again even if there will always be a part missing. To hope that Lorelai would soon be her old self again and to hope that his family would be okay again. Deep in thought he continued walking through the streets of Starts Hollow.

---

Linnea was sitting in her room and was coloring the many funny figures and shapes in her coloring book. She was humming a song quietly while she moved the pen over the paper.

After some time the coloring book started to bore her. She stuffed it back into the drawer with all her coloring things and instead grabbed normal white sheet of paper and started to color on it.

When she was done she stuffed her pens into the same drawer to the coloring book and looked proudly at her just now finished picture.

With the self colored picture in her hand she hopped from the small chair in her room and walked over to the door. Linnea walked through the hallway until she stopped in front of her parent's bedroom. She stood on her tiptoes and tried to reach the door handle and after some time her small hand grabbed around it.

Lorelai heard the door being opened and saw the brown curls of her daughter appear. She started to smile and turned the TV off.

"Come here, angel" she said and sat up. Linnea entered the bedroom, closed the door and then ran over her parent's bed and climbed it up. She crawled over Lukes empty side of the bed and sat down on her mother's lap.

"Hey baby, what's that in your hand?" Lorelai asked and pointed at the picture in Linneas hand. Linnea looked at the picture, then at her mother and after a few seconds she showed it to Lorelai.

"That's for you, mommy. These are Daddy and you" she pointed at the two tall stickmen she had painted. "And these are Leo and I" this time she pointed at two smaller stickmen.

"And this is our new sibling. Daddy said that it'll be really small in the beginning so I painted it smaller than Leo and me" Lorelai laughed. Linnea was always so cute. Lorelai looked at the picture a little more and then saw a stickman that was painted in the air.

"And who is this?" Linnea looked at her mom skeptically as if she wasn't sure if she should answer the question. Then she looked at the blanket and answered really fast.

"That's Leyla. Daddy said that she's in heaven now and looks out for us from up there so I painted her in heaven." Lorelai was speechless. She just sat there starring at the picture. Linnea got a little anxious because Lorelai didn't react. Suddenly Lorelai grabbed Linnea and hugged her. Tears started to rum down her cheeks. Linnea broke free from her mother's embrace and looked at her.

"Mommy, don't be sad" with her small hand she started to wipe awaythe tears from Lorelai's face.

"You know, Mommy, Mrs. James taught us a song at kindergarten today. She had said that we should sing it when someone is sad. It makes the sad go away she had said" Linnea lied down on the bed with her head on her mother's stomach and slowly started to sing.

_**The sun wi**__**ll come out  
Tomorrow  
Bet your bottom dollar  
That tomorrow - There'll be sun**_

_**Just thinking' about  
Tomorrow  
Clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow  
'Till there's none**_

_**When I'm stuck in a day  
That's grey  
And lonely  
I just stick out my chin  
And grin,  
And say;**_

_**The sun come out  
Tomorrow  
So you gotta hang on  
'Till tomorrow  
Come what may**_

_**Tomorrow,  
Tomorrow  
I love ya, tomorrow  
You're always a day away**_

None of the two realized how Luke and Leo got home. When Luke and Leo had heard noises coming from upstairs they had climbed the stairs and Luke was now standing in the doorframe with Leo in his arms and listened to his daughter sing.

_**When I'm stuck in a day  
That's grey  
And lonely  
I just stick up my chin  
And grin,  
And say;**_

Leo jumped out of Lukes arms and ran over to the bed. He, too, climbed up the bed and lay down besides his sister. Together they sung the song to the end.

_**The sun  
Come out  
Tomorrow  
So you gotta hang on  
'Till tomorrow  
Come what may**_

_**Tomorrow  
Tomorrow  
I love ya tomo**__**rrow  
You're always a day away**_

_**Tomorrow  
Tomorrow  
I love ya tomorrow  
You're always a day away**_

Luke looked at the view in front of him. When the kids stopped singing Lorelai just held them in her arms. Luke slowly stepped away from the door and went downstairs. He knew that Lorelai needed the time alone with the kids. He left a note fro them that he went to the Diner for a few hours.

---

Lorelai opened her eyes. The sun was still up outside. She wanted to sit up but couldn't. Something was lying on her.

When she looked down she saw Leo and Linnea cuddled up to her sleeping. She had to smile. The song Linnea had been singing earlier had touched her. She felt relieved somehow. She carefully started to shake the kids to wake them up. If they'd sleep longer they would be awake the whole night.

Both opened their eyes sleepily.

"Hey you two, you can't sleep longer"

Leo sat up und looked at Lorelai.

"I'm hungry, Mommy"

"Me too" Linnea agreed with her brother while she sat up as well. Lorelai thought for a few seconds then threw away her blanket and got up. At first she was a little shaky on her legs because she wasn't really up in some time except to go to the bathroom. When she had her legs under control again she looked at her kids which looked at her in question.

"Come on. Up, up. Mommy is going to look what she can fin to eat for you"

Linnea and Leo looked at each other as if they couldn't believe what was happening right now but then they hopped off the bed and ran out the room and down the stairs. Lorelai laughed and followed them.

All three stood in front of the open refrigerator and starred inside. Even thought he was filled to the brim they looked really helpless.

"It doesn't look like Daddy has anything in here that I would be able to make for you. Except if you are okay with me burning our beautiful house down?!" Linnea and Leo shook her head really hard and Lorelai had to laugh again. She closed the refrigerator with a loud _bang!_ and looked at her kids.

"And what are we going to do now?" Linnea just shrugged and Leo did the same.

"Uh… then I will go to the living room now and staaaaarrrve to death…"

As if she was bout to die she carried herself into the living room and fell down on the couch. Leo and Linnea ran in behind her and shook her arms and legs.

"No Mommy, come up. We have to do something, Mommy" When Lorelai sat up again she saw the note Luke left them and read it.

"oooh Kids, I think we are saved. You two wait here while mommy changes into something else and then we're going to daddy's Diner."

"yaaaaaaay" the kids yelled, clapped their hand and jumped up and down.

---

Twenty minutes later Lorelai came down the stairs and saw that Leo and Linnea were watching tv.

"Okay, kiddos, let's go to Daddy" She grabbed the remote and turned the TV off. Then she helped the kids into their coats and together they started their way to the Diner. Linnea and Leo ran around her laughing. Lorelai couldn't stop laughing herself. How she missed that. Just laughing. Having fun. Together with her kids.

The townspeople were all speechless. A laughing Lorelai playing with her kids. No one had thought they'd see her like that again.

The Diner door was opened with the loud ring of the bells and Leo and Linnea came running in laughing flowed by a even more laughing Lorelai. Everyone in the Diner immediately stopped eating and starred at Lorelai but she didn't even realize it. She helped the kids onto the chairs at the Counter before she also sat down.

Luke came out of the kitchen and stopped in his tracks when he saw his smiling family sitting at the counter.

"Oh look, there is our lifesaver" Lorelai smiled.

"Daddy, Mommy didn't find anything at home that she could make us to eat and we are sooooooo ungry" Leo said and looked at Luke with his puppy eyes that he obviously had learned from Lorelai.

"Right Daddy, we are hungry. Go, make something to eat for us" Lorelai said in her little kids voice.

Luke shook his head and laughed.

Maybe everything will be good in the end.

* * *

**tadaaaaa... see now you knwo why I didn't repeat our mantra ;) what do you think? did you like it?**

**the song Linnea was singing is called "tomorrow" and is from the musical "Annie" my absolute favorite musical. boy, I totally love it.**

**well, leave a review and I'll see you soon **


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey guys,**

**here is chapter 11... it's not really long and it is just some pointless fluff.**

**I'm really really busy because of the america vacation but I really promise to finish this story before monday. It will be hard but I'll do it.**

**only two chapters left after this... so enjoy.**

* * *

**Chapter 11**

You only start to appreciate the little precious things in life when you had to live without them. They never really stand out before. They're there but you just don't think about them.

You get up in the morning and leave the house. On your way to work you get greetings from your neighbors and friends that cross your way. The kids are playing and laughing around you and in the middle of all of it is your wife that laughs just as hearty as your kids. It's music to your ears.

These all and even more are normal moments in your life.

But what if they're suddenly gone? When your wife doesn't get up in the mornings anymore and doesn't leave the house? When no one greets you anymore because everyone is scared to say something wrong? When your kids suddenly stop laughing, your wife stops laughing, you stop laughing?

That exactly is the moment we realize how important those little precious things in life really are.

Many people who experienced the loss of those things never get them back. But there are also people that are lucky to get those moments in life back. And one of those people was Luke.

He experienced all of it but now he was sitting in a empty room and around him where his wife and kids who were happily singing and laughing while they were painting the wall. In the past Luke would've never thought that this exact moment would someday mean so much to him. Of course he had always loved it when his wife or kids were laughing but it was normal and he didn't think much about it.

Luke put the screwdriver away and looked at his Family. Lorelai had her hair in two braids on each side of her head and wore a really pink pair of dungarees in which you could see her pregnant belly even more. Beside her the kids, also dressed in pink or blue pair of dungarees, and together they were painting the wall in a light pink color.

Luke had insisted that they'll let the window open the whole time because the fumes wouldn't be good for the baby or the kids. Actually he wanted to renovate the room alone but Lorelai and the kids couldn't be stopped from helping him decorate the room for the new baby.

And so he was now sitting on the floor in the middle of the room and was putting the crib together.

"Done! Look Daddy, I'm done" Leo suddenly yelled and pointed proudly at the part of the wall he had painted while he joyfully looked at Luke with his with pink paint sprinkled face. At the next moment Linnea turned around as well.

"I'm done too, daddy. Look." She also beamed proudly and had her face covered in pink paint. Luke got up and walked over to the two of them and took them in his arms.

"You did that great, kids" He with that he gave each of them a kiss on the forehead.

Lorelai who had painted the upper part of the wall that the kids couldn't reach was now standing with her arms crossed in front of them.

"I have in this condition" she pointed at her belly "painted this whooooooole upper part" she pointed at the wall she had painted "and you" she pointed at the kids "get his" she pointed at Luke "whole attention. That's unfair. Big Mommy here wants some attention, too" She crossed her arms again and started to pout at Luke. He couldn't hood back a laugh at the look of his wife. Like the kids she was also over and over covered in dabs of paint.

"What's there to laugh about? Did nobody tell you that you don't laugh about a pregnant woman, Luke? Especially not when she is suffering under attention withdrawal from her husband. That could hurt her feel-" But she didn't get any further because Luke stood up, put his arms around her and silenced her with a long passionate kiss. At first Lorelai was totally confused because she didn't see it coming but then when she was ok again she knew just the perfect plan for revenge for the lack of attention Luke had given her. She put her left hand around Lukes neck and pulled him more to her to deepen the kiss more while she let the index finger of her right hand slowly slide over the still wet wall. She deepened the kiss even more to distract Luke long enough. Lorelai took her finger away from the wall and moved it over to Lukes face. While he was still totally distracted by their kiss Lorelai started to paint a heart on his cheek. Slowly Lorelai broke the kiss and looked deep into Lukes eyes for a moment but then her gaze went over to his cheek and she burst out laughing. Luke who didn't realize any of it just looked at her confused. When the kids started to laugh as well he had enough.

"What the hell is suddenly so funny?" Linnea and Leo stopped laughing and looked at their father but still with a big grin on their faces.

"Mommy painted a heart on your cheek" Linnea explained to him

"In piiiiiiiiink" Leo added.

"And you were soo distracted by your sexy wife that you didn't even realize it" Lorelai finished and all three started to laugh again.

Luke rolled his eyes and had to smile himself. His little crazy family.

"Enough with the fun now. We better continue or we'll never get done" Lorelai stopped laughing and looked at her kids.

"Ohoho, Kids, daddy thinks he is the boss now. But who has the power over the paint and the walls?"

"WE!" Linnea and Leo yelled at the same time and threw their little arms in the air. Lorelai did the same.

"Exactly. So are we going to listen to daddy?"

"NO!" they yelled at the same time again. Lorelai dropped her arms

„Yes."

"huh?" that confused the kids now and o they looked accordingly at their mother.

"Well, he is right. We have to get done. So, go , go back to work. We want this room to be done when little Lil will be born" the kids nodded and ran back to the wall next to the door and which they where allowed to paint whatever they wanted to paint for their little sister.

Luke who was already sitting next to the half done crib again was laughing at the happenings around him. It was nice to see them so happy again.

Lorelai sat down on the floor next to Luke and watched him while he finished building the crib. When he was done she cuddled up to him and he put his arms around her and together they watched the lids painting the wall in different colors and at this moment they were both thinking at the same person.

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**Sooo... this was chapter 11... really pointless like I said... but I like the beginning of this chapter... anyways... even if it was really pointless... please, please leave a review... they'll de-stress me a little bit ;)**


	12. Chapter 12

**hey guys,**

**boy you have no idea how busy I am... and I'm nervous... do you think it's possible to die of nervousness? **

**This chapter is a bit fluffy and a bit sad. I wanna thank my best freind Isi (Hailey-Amanda) for helping me translating this chapter because of my lack of time. --huggels-- love you**

**I have the next chapter already translated so I'll post it in a couple of hours after I got some sleep. **

**enjoy.**

* * *

**Chapter 12**

Birthdays are basically joyful days. Joyful because of the birth of a new person in our world. Every year anew we celebrate the day at which an important person to us arrived in this world. That were relatives, good friends or just acquaintances. We celebrate, make gifts or just spend some time together. No matter whether it's the day of birth, the first birthday, the 18th birthday or any other. Some people don't care about their birthday and just spend this day like any other. However there will be someone somewhere who thinks of this person at this day.

Children's birthdays are always something special. Even though the children might not yet understand the sense of if and only know that they become a year older and get presents, it's all the more special for the parents. After all it's the day their little angel joined them in this world. One tries to make ever birthday something special and so did Lorelai and Luke as well.

Today was the birthday of the kids. Luke and Lorelai had woken them up together, then had breakfast with them and brought them to the kindergarten together.

Now they were decorating the house for the party. Well, Luke was decorating and Lorelai was giving orders.

"Luke, that crystal chandelier needs to be a bit more on the left side… now it's too far on the left. Go half that way to the right again… yes, that's perfect."

Lorelai had convinced Luke after multiple begging attacks to have a theme party and now they were turning the house into a kingdom. They had a throne for each of the kids, a red carpet and everything one needed in a kingdom. Lorelai had even sewed them a prince and princess costume. She hadn't wanted to give away the seats of king and queen because in Lorelai's opinion that were still she and Luke.

A rattle from the kitchen made her shriek. With a worried look on her face she left Luke with the décor and checked up on what had happened.

The kitchen looked like a battlefield. On the middle counter a fancy two-storied chocolate cake was standing, which resembled an artwork. The rest of the kitchen was covered with wheat and the theme matching plastic-dishes were spread over the whole floor. And in the middle of it all stood Sookie.

"Sookie, what happened?", asked Lorelai and eyed out the chaos.

"I wanted to lean on the counter but instead I leaned on the handle of the pan… but in the pan was that wheat bag which then flew threw the air, of course…" Sookie pointed out the flight path of the wheat bag and then towards the dishes on the floor.

"… and then it fell on the counter and POFF everywhere was wheat…" Lorelai could only shake her head. Sookie was really queen of chaos in the kitchen. Before she could even ask how the dishes had ended up on the floor Luke entered the kitchen.

"Lorelai, honey, we need to go and get the kids."

"What? But Luke, you still have to roll out the red carpet and… and…" Luke came from behind her, reached his arms around her and quickly kissed her neck.

"That's already done." He whispered into her ear.

"And the armaments? Are the armaments arranged?" She asked still hectically.

"I put them up already. Everything's done." He tenderly rocked her from one side to the other, still his head held next to her ear.

"Everything's done?" she asked a bit quieter.

"Everything's done." He assured her again before she turned her head around and kissed him softly. Sookie watched them with a dreamy look. She was glad Lorelai could enjoy her life again after all that had happened. Lorelai's voice however pulled her from her thoughts again.

"Okay, Sookie, you clean up this mess in no time and we get the kiddies. Come on, Luke." She grabbed Luke's hand and pulled him after herself out of the kitchen. Sookie only shook her head and began to clean up the kitchen.

---

Luke and Lorelai were standing arm in arm in front of the kindergarten and were waiting for the kids to get out.

When the doors opened the first thing they saw was their two kids covered in streamers and with big smiles on their faces. They had celebrated their birthday at the kindergarten with all their friends.

When they saw the two of them both came running towards the couple with a loud "Mommyyy"-scream. Since Leyla's death Lorelai hadn't come and picked them up from the kindergarten.

Lorelai knelt down and hugged her two troublemakers as good as possible with her belly of eight months pregnancy.

"Hey, my birthday-babies." She greeted them and tousled their hair shortly.

"Mommy, we're no babies anymore. We're already four now." It came from Leo and Linnea nodded approvingly. Luke laughed lightly.

"At home there's another party waiting for my two big ones. Then let's go." Leo and Linnea squeaked joyfully and each grabbed one hand of their father but Lorelai had a whole different problem.

"Luke, could you help me? I can't get up again." Again Luke had to laugh. The way Lorelai was crouching on the floor with her big belly and the fact that she couldn't get up again was just too funny. He dropped the hands of his kids and walked over to his wife. She stared at him from the floor with big puppy eyes and the legendary pout on her lips which only made him laugh once again.

"I don't like it at all that you're laughing at me, Luke. I believe, I have to secretly tell little Lil what a mean father she has to warn her beforehand."

Luke only laughed harder, reached under her arms and pulled her up to her feet.

---

The party was in full progress. Linnea and Leo were sitting in their thrones wearing their costumes and were enjoying the attention they were getting.

The whole town was there. Babette & Morey, Mrs. Patty & Taylor, Kirk & Lulu, Gipsy & Andrew. Just everyone. In every invitation was written that they have to come in theme fitting costumes to the party what everyone had done. Lorelai, of course, didn't leave out the chance to dress Luke and herself as king and queen and so they were both standing next to their kids. Luke with a grumpy face because he didn't like the whole costume thing at all.

Every guest had to walk over the red carped and had to bow in the right way to congratulate Leo and Linnea and to give them their presents.

But since the party had started Lorelai was really quiet. Something seemed to oppress her. She was trying to hide it but Luke noticed it anyways.

The point where the party really started was when every guest had arrived and given the kids their present. Music was played, cake was eaten and theme fitting games were played. Everyone had fun especially the kids and so no one noticed it when Lorelai slipped out the house after two hours.

---

When Luke started to clean the party was still in full progress. While doing that he thought about Lorelai. Something was bothering her since the party started. This morning she had been her old self. Luke started to worry.

After he threw the torn up wrapping paper in the trashcan and had done some of the dishes he wanted to see what Lorelai was doing. Maybe try and cheer her up a little. But he couldn't find her anywhere. She wasn't in the kitchen or in the dining room he would have seen that. She wasn't in the living room with all the other party guests either. He also couldn't find her in one of the bedrooms upstairs.

He asked some of the guests, without worrying them, if they've seen her but no one had seen her the last few hours.

Luke sat down in one corner of the living room and thought about where Lorelai possibly could be. He was really worried.

Deep in thought he looked at the kids. What could've happened that was so important that she'd leave the birthday party of her kids? Who would be more important than her kids?

And then it hit him. Luke jumped up and grabbed his jacket.

"Luke, where are you going?" Rory, who had seen him, asked him.

"I'll be right back. Please look after Leo and Linnea until I'm back" and with that he ran out of the house.

---

She pulled her jacked tighter around her shaking body. Even if it was warm outside she was freezing. Her hand grabbed the cold metal of the gate and opened it. Slowly she walked through it and walked determined along one of the many paths. After a few minutes she stopped and starred at the grey rock in front of her.

"Leyla Danes, 12th august 2002 till 30th may 2006, Our Angel forever" was engraved in it together with a picture of an angel.

Slowly the tears started to run down her cheeks.

"Happy Birthday, my angel" she whispered and laid a bunch of flowers on the grave before she collapsed in front of it. Tears were running down her cheeks and she silently started to sob.

"I miss you so much, baby" she started talking and didn't notice Luke standing behind her.

"It's so hard without you. Every day I experience with your siblings I ask myself how it would be if you'd still be here. And Just today. How much would I have liked to see you arguing with Linnea about who is the more beautiful princess but nevertheless defending her when Leo would have annoyed her once again.

How much I would have liked it to take you in my arms and wish you a happy birthday but instead I'm starring at this grave.

Your Daddy made something clear to me and I want you to know it too. I love you Leyla and even if I love Lil as much as I love you she will never replace you"

A noise behind her let her start up. She turned around and saw Luke behind her. He, too, had tears running down his face. He sat down on the ground beside her and took her in his arms.

"She knows it, Lorelai. She knows it" he whispered into her ear and together they were sitting there thinking about their lost daughter.

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**ok... so like I said you'll get the very last chapter of this story in a couple of hours so please please leave a review on this chapter before I post the last one. **

**love you all --hugs--**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey guys,**

**so here it is... the very last chapter of this story... enjoy it **

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**Chapter 13**

The best time is the time you spend with your family. You can just be yourself, you can relax, you can laugh.

It's even better when kids are involved. Can there be anything better than playing or laughing kids? A laughing kid makes you always happy even if your heart is filled with bitterness.

And exactly that happy were Luke and Lorelai right now while they were watching their kids playing and laughing on the grass.

Luke had surprised them with a picnic today. He got up extra early today and had cooked and prepared everything they'd need for a picnic.

Then he had woken up Lorelai and the kids, ate breakfast with them and helped them get dressed. Even Lorelai needed help to get dressed because her belly was so huge now that she couldn't see anymore what was happening around the lower half of her body.

The hardest part came when the kids and everything else was packed into the car: Getting Lorelai in the car. Because even walking was almost impossible for Lorelai with that belly and most of all the stairs in the house were her problems. And Luke couldn't carry her anymore either and so it took a little longer to get her out to the car.

The drive wasn't really long and so they stopped at a beautiful, big, isolated meadow somewhere between Stars Hollow and Litchfield.

The sun was shining the whole day and sitting there on the grass was just wonderful. At first Luke was fooling around with the Kids, playing hide and seek with them and he and Leo tried to teach Linnea baseball but they failed. After that they were all sitting together eating the food Luke prepare and now Luke and Lorelai were sitting in the shadow of a tree and were watching Leo and Linnea play together. Luke sat with his back against the tree Lorelai between his legs and his hand on her nine month pregnant belly. In moments like this they really missed Leyla.

"Hey Luke?" Lorelai interrupted the silence.

"Yeah?"

"What's going to happen now?" she asked and started to play with his fingers on her belly.

"What do you mean?" Her question confused him.

"With us. With our family" Luke didn't know what exactly she meant and where that thought was coming from now but he answered.

"Well, at first Lil will get born" with these words he stroke her belly "and she'll be just as amazing as her elder siblings. We'll have nice moments together. They'll start school. The first boyfriend or girlfriend will appear where I'll have to talk to them about that first and where you'll have to help me realize that they're not kids anymore. Someday they'll be adults with their own family and we'll be grandparents. And in the end when we are really old we'll be sitting in our rocking chairs and think about what a beautiful life we had" Lorelai had to smile while listening to his words. He was such a softie sometimes. But he was right. Lorelai could see it happening and she knew that it would be great.

"Luke?"

"Mhm?" he just mumbled because he face was currently hiding in her hair.

"Thank you!" That made him look up.

"For everything" And that made him smile.

"You're very welcome but in this case I also have to thank you" Lorelai smiled even more and she turned around a little and looked into Lukes eyes. Even after eight years of friendship, two years relationship and four years of marriage he still had the same glow in his eyes when he looked at her or the kids. That specific glow that told her that he would rather be here with his family than anything else in the world. Without thinking any further she captured his lips with hers. She closed her eyes and felt his lips with hers. When you'd look at Luke you'd never guess that he had so soft lips. She started to feel warm inside and the butterflies were flying around in her stomach even if it felt a little different than usually. Even the feeling she got when she was kissing Luke didn't change in all these years.

Before the two could deepen the kiss even more they got interrupted.

"Mommy?" Linnea asked while she looked at her parents with a weird look on her face. Lorelai broke the kiss and looked at her daughter.

"These are for you, Mommy" Linnea said and handed her a bundle of flowers she had culled from the grass.

"Oh honey, they're beautiful, thank you" Lorelai took the flowers from her and hugged ger daughter.

"Ouch" Lorelai suddenly exclaimed. Linnea sprang back and looked at Luke and Lorelai in panic.

"Is everything ok, Lorelai?"

"Yeah, everything's ok. Lil just kicked a little too hard form my taste" She smiled at Luke and his face relaxed again.

"I think we should start packing the things together and head home. It's getting late and it's almost their bedtime" Luke said and got up. Lorelai pouted a little because her comfortable backrest was gone.

"Linnea, go get your brother and bring your toys over to the blanket. I'm going to help your mother in the car" Linnea nodded and ran away to get Leo. Luke leaned down and pulled Lorelai up.

„Ouch!" she exclaimed again.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't want to hurt you" Luke kissed her on the forehead to apologize but Lorelai only nodded absently and stroke her belly over and over again.

When Luke had helped Lorelai in the car he got the kids and packed the things together. On their way home Lorelai was unusually quiet. She was looking out of her window the whole ride and didn't stop stroking her belly.

When they got home the kids had fallen asleep on the backseat und Luke carried her inside. After that he helped Lorelai up to the bedroom. Together they lay down and watched a bit tv. Lorelai with her head on Lukes shoulder and he had one arm around her. But Lorelai still didn't stop stroking her belly and Luke felt how her whole body knotted every now and then. Something was wrong but Luke didn't wanna ask. If something would be really wrong she'd tell him. Sometime he felt her breathing getting regular and he saw that she'd fallen asleep. A short time later he turned off the tv and fell asleep as well.

---

Lorelai woke up jerkily. There was this pain in her stomach. She knew that feeling. She was having contractions. They weren't that bad yet but bad enough to hurt and make her nervous. Why now? She wasn't ready. She was scared.

Lorelai sat up and leaned against the headboard. She clutched her stomach with both arms and quietly started to whisper. She whispered to Leyla. To the baby and a little to herself.

When the next contraction hit her she tried really hard to not let any sound come out her mouth but when she felt her water break she couldn't stop herself from yelling in shock.

This woke up Luke. He needed a moment to fully wake up but when he saw Lorelai and the wet sheets he knew immediately what was going on.

"God, Lorelai, why didn't you wake me?" Lorelai started to cry.

„I don't want to, Luke"

"What?" Luke was confused.

"I'm scared. Three kids are many, Luke. Look what happened last time. I wasn't able to look out for all three of them. I don't want it to happen again" Luke took her hands in his.

"Lorelai, it was an accident. It won't happen again. Think about what I told you earlier. About our future. You saw it in front of you just like me, didn't you?" Lorelai nodded and smiled at him.

"good and now come on" Luke helped Lorelai out of bed and took the to call Babette who almost immediately picked up.

"Hey Babette, its Luke. Could you please come over here really fast and look after the kids? Lorelai is having the baby" After Babette told him that she'd be right over he hung up. He grabbed the bag with some of Lorelai's and Lil's clothes they'd packed for the hospital and left the house with Lorelai. Outside Babette walked over to them.

„Babette, could you do me another favor?" Lorelai asked breathing hard.

„Everything for you, sugar"

"Please call Rory and Sookie for me and tell them to come to the hospital immediately" While she was saying that Luke was helping her into the car.

"Of course, sugar. Good luck" and with that Luke got in the car and drove away.

---

At the hospital Lorelai was immediately brought into the delivery room because her contractions came pretty regularly now. Luke never left her side and Lorelai squeezed his hand. But it still took them about an hour until the real giving birth part started.

"Ok, Lorelai. When you feel the next contraction coming then I want you to push. With all your strength. Luke, you can help her by supporting her back" Luke nodded and continued to wipe the sweat from Lorelais face with a tissue. Lorelai's body suddenly knotted again and Luke new that it was time for the next contraction. Lorelai screamed, squeezed his hands and pushed with all her strength.

"You're doing that so good, Lorelai. Push!" Luke tried to encourage her.

"Shut up, Luke" Was the only thing he got as an answer.

Two contractions, some „I hate you, Luke"and „This is your entire fault, Luke" later you could already see the baby's head.

"You have to push once again, Lorelai. With all your strength and then we're done" But Lorelai was completely exhausted.

"I can't do this anymore. Get it out of me. I want it to stop" she started to cry and clung to Luke who stroke some sweaty hair strands of hair out of her face, kissed her forehead and tried to encourage he a little more.

"You can do this, Lorelai. Only one more time and it's over" When Lorelai felt the next contraction coming she took a deep breath and pushed with all her strength. A loud "Oh goooooooood…!" sounded through the delivery room and was soon mixed with the cries of a newborn baby. Lorelai fell back into the pillows totally exhausted and a few minutes later she had her youngest daughter in her arms. She looked like a mix of Leyla and Linnea. She had the dark, curly hair that Leyla was born but her face looked like Linnea's. Luke looked down at his newborn daughter and couldn't stop himself from saying "she's perfect". Lorelai nodded and answered "Yeah she is. I love you, Luke" Luke looked into his wife's eyes and kissed her.

Lorelai couldn't stop herself from starring at Lil. She wasn't a replacement for Leyla and never would be but she'd love her all the same. No one could give her Leyla back but they gave her Lil. The big hole that was in her whole package because of Leyla's death was now closed a little more again. It would never be completely closed again but Lorelai would to anything to stop it from getting bigger again. She would give each over her kids as much love, safety and comfort as she could. No one would ever destroy her whole package. No one. And if someone should try it she would fight like a wild lioness. And when she looked over at Luke and saw how he was looking at his daughter she knew that he'd do the same.

**The End**

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** sooo... I thank you all for reading and reviewing this story. I'm goint to amerrica for two weks tomorrow and when I get back I'll have a new story for you. I think you'll like that one. Its mostly Romance but has a little drama, too, but not so much.**

**leave a review (let's try to get me 100 reviews total for this story) and we'll see each other in two weeks  
**


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